Written by Deborah Jordaan
Good day loyal readers I hope you are well and mother nature rains abundance upon you. This week I am writing about the selfish patient. As you all know I am a Carer and I take care of my partner. My partner is happiest when his needs are met but when I need to get to the little life I have he has opinions sometimes.
I am sympathetic and empathic to his needs but when I voice my needs and wants he has a few golden words of wisdom.
Some days I bite my tongue and just compose myself but then I get those moments where I think why am I doing this? I know I chose this life but I think how much more can I take?
Alone time to oneself is so important but us as Carers never get there, as we run the household work elsewhere and must still make time for children and grandchildren. I have decided a while back to go see a psychologist as when my mental state takes strain I have a place to go that sees to only my needs and it is a safe place where I can wind down and let go of my feelings.
My partner has children and extended family but as todays children are; they don`t come visit or offer to help but they also have so many suggestions. They never ask me how am I? Could they spend a day with him and give me some time to get to whatever I would like to do.
I know some people would say I can be lucky to have a partner as their loved ones have passed on and they are alone. I do practice gratefulness but there are times when I must also be selfish and find time to breathe and just be me.
I used to be a people pleaser but the mental mind tends to bring you back down to earth and slow you down and make you aware that you need self – care. I am always taking care of people but they have this notion that I magically have all the time in the world and will jump for them.
That is the selfish patient. Taking care of people is not about the money as the money you get paid can`t buy time off.
Men in general are very sensitive when they are sick, to me it is in their nature. Ladies whether sick or not just keep on going as we cannot cancel our life and say when we better we will get back to it.
I have my health issues and when I talk about them I get told that I am always sick. This coming from my partner who keeps me awake at night, no sleep for me. It is like having a baby all over except that this baby is not going to grow up and move out of the house.
So to the people men or women that are devoting their lives to those kind of people with partial selfishness, you will be losing yourself along your way and when you find yourself ill and need attention no one will be there for you.
Be blessed and take care of your mental mind.