To Face the Issue or Cower Away

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Hello to all you gorgeous beings. Hope your festive season went well and that you are facing the New Year with gusto. Today I am questioning whether it makes a person a coward to cower away or if should we suck it up and face our challenge.

To be outspoken and straightforward is a good thing but sometimes words must be chosen so as not to hurt people’s feelings. One cannot always molly-coddle people and allow them to step all over you because you want people to like you.

Does that make you a coward not to confront the issue at hand?

A straightforward person will say you are a coward as that person faces their challenge and runs with it. Yes, sometimes even a straightforward person bites their tongue as they were taught respect by their parents. So you need a strategy in most situations whether you solve the problem in the background or bring the other person down to earth.

Some people born with a silver spoon in their mouth can be good humans or just keep on being self-sanctified snob and oh-so opinionated. They think they were put on this earth to be the new generation royal by self-appointment.

We are all human, either our own money or other people’s money makes us think we rule the world. This person says what they want and expects the person that doesn’t want a conflict to shut their mouth and keep on being abused in whatever way they are abusing the other person. Having money makes some people emotional bullies.

The good person then cowers away because they feel the argument will go nowhere, whereas the person who is not impressed by the person with money will voice their opinion on whatever subject they are having conflict over. There is a fine line between the self–sanctified royal and the genuine person being abused by them.

Why are we not allowed to ask questions or create a conflicting situation? My mom taught me to be straightforward in some situations it has awarded me but sometimes I have had to step back and say that the person I am confronting is definitely not worth my words as the only thing their money could buy is maybe some style but no manners.

Remember money cannot buy class or etiquette, the only difference is the wealthy person’s money can be used to cover up their mess. Be humble and when someone confronts you just respect them and have an open mind toward the situation, especially in situations where the parents have handed their little royals all decisions to make and control finances.

Behold the parent asks the child what is happening in the said situation if nothing is done. Be wary not to give the royal too much as they then think they rule the parent, this is where the abuse comes in as the parent has to accept whatever this royal child decides. If a child has manners and respect by all means give them responsibility as they will obviously respect whatever the parent’s opinions are. They are there to assist – not rule.

In my parting words, remember who brought you up and who is now relying on your common sense as a child to help make life easier for the parent. Don`t be an opportunistic douchebag.

Be blessed and be safe.

Pros and Cons of Being an Empath

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful people of this planet we call home. Hope much of the disasters of the past few weeks of rain have been cleared up for you. Mother Nature is not happy with us. Today I am writing about being an empath and the ups and downs of absorbing everything.

I am an empath and some days it is not one of the best traits to have. I work with ill people and still take care of ill people. My soul gets no rest from the emotional turmoil of humans and animals alike. Always being Miss all nice has its downfall.

I am always trying not to offend people as I can be very straightforward and insulting. The day comes when all the nonsense of people makes me explode and all the negativity I have absorbed becomes like an entity on its own. It comes out and I have no limit to what comes out of my mouth. There is a method to my madness, even though it is not always the best for others.

The only way I can get rid of this anger and resentment that builds up is to let it out. I have tried all kinds of methods, gemstones and incense just do not do the trick anymore. I have an arsenal of stones and they are just pretty adornments around my neck now. I feel the need to get away and be in my temple, Mother Nature. I need to absorb her magic and wonder and recoup my soul.

My garden is in absolute turmoil so there too I am absorbing the mess of that and of course that is of no help either. When everything around becomes an uncontrolled mess you need to step back and reassess everything. Take one step at a time, which is easier said than done – as I am the only one in my mess. I am always assisting everyone but the human stays true and shows me when I need their assistance its non – existent.

I now understand why some people escape to nature and never look back. The animals appreciate you, and the human uses you.

There are good humans out there but to find them is like trying to find a dinosaur. No one is perfect not even me, but sometimes it would be refreshing to find my tribe and never look back.

Those thoughts stay in my fairyland file as unfortunately, we have to live in the real world and suck it up and keep going forward. The going forward part is difficult sometimes as we sometimes feel stuck as if we are in quicksand. Logical thinking is the only way to face problems. We are allowed to lose the plot and put on a tutu and tiara and imagine we are fairies and just dance around but that could land us in hot water, the sanatorium could just have a door with our name on it.

In parting words, yes we need to be grateful but self-care of one’s psyche is always very important. Keep on colouring out the lines but don`t lose yourself among all the weeds.

Be blessed and take care of yourself for the safety of others.

Then the Festive Season Arrived

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful people of this crazy place we call earth. I hope Mother Nature hasn`t been too hard on you as we have had floods in the Midvaal area. Not being a very good time for many people. As humans we bounce back, we have to.

Today I am writing about the festive season and the feelings it brings out in us. I for one did not celebrate for a long time as I had bad experiences through the years at this time. I eventually sat down with myself and realised I had been missing out on beautiful memories with family and friends. Yes, my mother has a birthday after Christmas and she passed away in January. It is a difficult time without her but I cannot keep mourning and thinking up excuses why I do not celebrate Christmas. This year I decided to celebrate and decorate my garden and even have a small tree in my kitchen. Just seeing my hard work makes me feel that I had accomplished more than I had accomplished in years. A lot of people get depressed and feel melancholy this time of the year. It can be lonely without anyone but do something to pay it forward, and embrace your life. You get to celebrate another year, no matter how bad it was or how things are going to be – just suck it up and be a warrior to yourself. Those of us that can celebrate must be grateful as there are little children who will never see a Christmas tree or get a toy as a present. The light in my grandchildren’s eyes makes it worth every effort it takes to forget the bad times.

Today I got bad news. A girl I had known since her primary school days had suddenly passed, she was thirty years old. Imagine her family has to spend Christmas without her so suddenly. How does one even begin to imagine how it will be? Yes, it is sad but celebrate her life and enjoy the festivities the way she would have celebrated it. I believe people that have passed would not want us to mourn, if they were here they would want us to celebrate, so do that in their absence to honour them. Christmas is not just about presents it is about paying it forward to the people that cannot even afford a meal. Paying it forward this time of the year should make you feel u did something good and you made a difference in someone’s life. Giving is so much more gratifying than receiving. As I am always writing about paying it forward I hope I reach people that do pay it forward so they in turn can motivate other people. Some families might just be able to afford a meal on Christmas day but the difference is there is love and gratitude. You then get the selfish child who receives a phone and it might not be what they want. That child should be receiving nothing. They should be sent to children’s homes on Christmas Day and should see the joy on the children’s faces if they receive a minuscule gesture for a present. Hopefully, it would teach that selfish child how to be grateful.

So in my parting words, I would like to say, embrace the blessings you have and spread as much joy and love as you are able. If you can even change one person`s day at Christmas you have achieved a lot.

My Religion Matters

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful souls of this universe. Today I will write about how we are divided regarding religion. We all live on this planet, yet wars have started through faith – from the dark ages to now.

As we all know, I hug trees. I embrace Mother Nature and am grateful for the abundance she blesses me with every day. Yes, we are all entitled to our diverse religions but why do we feel we need to defend ourselves for our belief system.

The Christians can wear a cross and a fish in honour of their religion, but behold a pagan person walks around with a pentagram – Satan has arrived. Why is that?

Just like any religion are we not entitled to wear what signifies our belief and not get judged for it?

For instance, we must judge all catholic priests because a few have done injustices to children. No, we should not judge all. You will find rotten apples in every religion. When you are perfect and full of grace not even then can you judge another human?

Religion does not teach respect, moral values and kindness to the human race, those traits are human and should be instilled from birth if the parents are good humans.

You do not need religion to define you for who you are.

A good human stays a good human no matter what your religion.

You go sit in the church and for that period of time, you are so holy but when you come out those doors do you practice what you hear?

We all have a bit of each of the religions in our own religion, as from the time of the early religions there were only a few and from there stemmed the religions we see today.

I was watching an interesting program last night on youtube and it was all about religious symbols and how all religions have adopted these symbols. All religions are linked, even though closed-minded people might not agree with the statement. We should all just stand together and save our beautiful planet instead of proclaiming how significant our religious paths are.

At the end of the day, Mother Nature does not care who is what religion, when she destroys parts of the planet she does not ask questions of who is the holiest. She takes and gives lives and all the human has to do in turn is take care of what she has gifted us with.

In my parting words, I just want to say that I respect people for who they are and not for the religion they follow.

My Hospital Friend

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful inhabitants of this planet we call earth. Today I am going to write about the friends we meet at public hospitals and how we only see each other once a month when seeing the doctor, fetching a medicine repeat or having been admitted and meeting our fellow bed mate.

We meet the most amazing people at the hospital. However, when we see them in another environment it is different and we might not even greet each other. They all come from different walks of life.

Some live in the suburbs and some in the squatter camp. Why is it that in the hospital we become friends but when we are at home we do not visit each other? What stops us from visiting our friend in Orange farm, we were after big buddies in the ward.

Is it that we are afraid of the change in environment or the stories we hear about the less fortunate areas? We are all human beings and the only thing that separates us is society and politicians that dictate to us that we do not become house friends.

Do we just have that one thing in common when we all sit and talk about medicine and doctors at the hospital? What will we talk about if we had to visit each other outside of the hospital?

I have hospital and clinic friends as I take patients regularly to these places but yet we also do not visit outside these places. We are happy to see each other at the places we meet but outside we are mere acquaintances.

At these places, there is no such thing as racists – as you talk to the person next to you in the capacity of one sick person to the next. We have that in common.

I always make a friend before I leave a clinic or hospital as I message them to ask how they are doing.

You must remember we are all troubled humans and having a friendly face sitting next to you offering your little one a sweet or snack is all that is needed to start a conversation. We should not be afraid to talk as speaking is the universal language no matter what your race might be.

At the one clinic I go to I always buy the little children sweeties as they sit and get niggly. A sweetie will cheer them up. By that simple act the chaperone of the child can see I am no different to them. I am a caring human being just being nice to my fellow man.

My advice to everyone is – to make a friend because you never know how badly they might need a shoulder to cry on when they are sitting at a cancer clinic for instance. It is a very lonely place for someone going through cancer treatment to sit there all alone with their thoughts. They might not seem to want company but once you strike up a conversation they become a blooming flower and have a smile on their face. Whenever I see a person sad I ask them to smile for me as they are beautiful.

Anybody needs a tender word no matter what their condition. You just might be saving a mentally challenged person from committing suicide that very day.

Be blessed and be grateful. There is someone out there that cares for you.

Little Voice Called Lani

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful souls of this planet we call earth. Today I am writing about the little voice inside your head reminding you that you need to be somewhere else.

You always miss something but you do not know what it is. It is not a person or even a specific place …. it is your inner self and who you are that you are missing. This will lead you to where you need to be when you recognise that little voice and listen to it.

I have an amazing friend, and now I know why she is part of my life. She is living the life my inner voice has been calling me to. She is there to give me the awakening I need. She is my real-life version of Julia Robert`s character in Eat Pray Love. She has been my inspiration since I met her. My little voice has always nagged me but it became real when I met her.

My soul cries out to the big wide world and the adventure it represents. Since a child, I have always been responsible but my wandering soul never stopped yearning for something waiting for me.

Yes, we all say we want to find ourselves but we keep on with the mundane life we lead because we are afraid of what is waiting for us. Looking at the media I envy the free-spirited souls that are not afraid to live.

How often are we going to make excuses as to why we can not live our lives to the fullest? I am not afraid of the future, it is the present that has me worried about where will it end.

We adventurous souls have to dig deep into our inner core and decide what is keeping us from exploring our future. We are stuck in limbo and sometimes we are not happy to be there, we are just used to it. I am delighted for a short while in any circumstance but then it starts to become mundane and I feel the need to move on. I need to find my happy place and settle till my old years but right now my little voice is telling me not to give up on my dreams, but the dream comes with sacrifice.

I always made excuses that my children are not grown so I cannot do anything which is valid but as they became adults I used the fact that my grandchildren are young but have their parents.

At the end of the day, all we have is ourselves and only we will know what best is for us.

Being a responsible person comes with perks, but when can we let our hair down and breathe?

There are people out there with financial means that can live their dream but because of their shallow souls, they do not see how blessed they are.

There are a few philanthropists that live their life to the fullest and pay it forward and they still see the world. They get to live their dream just by being unafraid.

I once read a story of an executive in New York who was dissatisfied with his crazy life and he gave everything up. He bought a whole bunch of educational books, sold up everything and went to Africa. He is in Africa educating underprivileged children. To me that is beautiful, he is living his dream. He was not afraid, so what is stopping us?

My parting words to you are that listen to the little voice because you might never know where your path will lead.

So let yourself go and embrace a new beginning.

Be blessed and be loved.

Selfishness is the Word…….

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day to all the wonderful humans that read our stories, without our readers our words are in limbo but our readers embrace our talent. Thank you.

Today I am writing about the person that takes care of a patient. Whether it is a nurse or a family member the caretaker is sometimes taken for granted. The patient can be selfish and not consider the person taking care of them, they might also want to do things and go places but sometimes the Caregiver has no choice as they take care of the patient twenty-four hours a day.

The Caregiver can get lonely and feel like they are alone. The Caregiver also needs a support system as the patient family might not assist the Caregiver. Working twenty-four hours a day is strenuous.

Yes, the Caregiver has chosen to do the work they do but if they are emotionally tired they will be of no assistance to anyone including their own family.

In Afrikaans, there is a saying, ‘Jy druk my in n blik,’ which means your space has been compressed to such a small size that you cannot move.

Caregivers that take care of a family member do not have it easy as they do not have choices. The Caregiver feels obligated to take care of the patient as the patient supports them financially.

When does the relationship become abusive in a sense? It becomes abusive when the patient verbally abuses the Caregiver. Even emotional abuse is abuse.

Once the Caregiver starts feeling lonely and excluded from the world, problems are created. The Caregiver starts to feel resentment and used. The patient needs to realise that without the Caregiver the situation can become difficult. When a Caregiver studies, they are told that they should not allow manipulation and being used by the patient and the family of the patient.

It is amazing how the family does not really care about the patient in some scenarios, but when they want to sound intelligent and voice their opinion they expect the Caregiver to bow down.

I have worked as a private Caregiver a few times and have met good and bad families. I think some family members have a guilty conscience so they decide they want to butt in the situation of the patient.

Yes, the family might be employing the Caregiver but that does not mean they can talk to you like they want. We are all human beings and we are all on different levels of life, there should not be an issue of rich or poor.

The Caregivers are sometimes seen as the bottom of the barrel but without us, a system can stand still. We are important to the recovery of a patient, we do the clean-up job if the hospital cannot assist. Do not undervalue your Caregiver as they sacrifice a lot for your health. They give up their lives and take your life as theirs. They hardly see their families.

This may seem like a complaint session but it is to shed light on the issues of some Caregivers. If you have a Caregiver, appreciate them. If they are very trustworthy you have a gem of a person. Be blessed and always take care of people as if they are your own loved ones.

My Solace

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day loyal readers. Today I am writing about what makes me find peace and calm in the crazy world I call my life. We all find solace in something or someone and we feel like we are home.

Do we ever find peace in our minds? I do not know if that is possible sometimes. To me, I find my solace when I see the love in people’s eyes when they look at me with thanks and adoration.

The job I do as a carer always makes me feel like I am home when I see the elderly. It lightens my heart. They appreciate everything I do for them and in turn, I give them the love I would give my dearly departed mother and grandmother. Every granny I see I see a trait my dear mother had. So they all as a collective personify my mother. I see their pain and longing for a child and give them emotionally what they need and they give me what I need just by being there to listen to me or by allowing me to help them with whatever it is they need.

When my mother was alive I could never imagine that one day she would not be there and that I would miss her so much. I search for her in every older lady I meet. When a glimmer of my mother shines through I am attached to the person. So we are forever trying to find significance in other humans.

All I want is to be happy and enjoy the moment in another person’s company. My grandsons fill my soul with peace and happiness. They are my refuge.

I had two daughters and the chance to have more children was taken from me. When my grandbabies were born I thanked the universe for giving me the ideal family, two daughters and two grandsons. What more could I ask. I am a very emotional being and when my soul is happy I am forever faithful to the person that makes me happy.

It is not easy to find that feeling of wonderment, so grasp it with both hands when you do. We do not need someone to complete us, we need someone to be part of our soul.

A soul mate does not have to be one person, it can be a few people who contribute to the well-being of our souls.

Animals and nature can also be our places we go if we need that feeling of being completely happy or at least part of it. We cannot be happy all the time but if we find happiness part of the time, that is also okay.

So I hope you find your happy place and when you do hold on to it as people take a lifetime to search for it but sometimes never find it. Be blessed and loved.

Have happy thoughts.

Bullying is Not Okay

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day beautiful inhabitants of our planet. Today I am writing on a subject we all recognise. I myself went through bullying at school and my brother was taunted because of his disability when he was younger.

I heard of a little boy of ten that was taunted daily at school. He lost interest in school work and he would tell his mommy he is feeling ill just so that he would not have to go to school. He reported the incidents to the teachers and the mother was told not to go to the education department of the area as the school will investigate the incidents. The bullies kept on taunting the young boy that the mother approached the parents of the children as it was becoming a big problem. The main bully was making his two friends also bully the boy.

Since the subject was discussed between the parents and the school; the pupils have for now stopped the taunting and the little boy is doing much better at school.

This is primary school what is going to happen in high school?

The other incident in the same school was of an eleven-year-old girl who slit her wrist with a scissor in the class while the teacher had left the class. When asked why she was doing that she said that she was teased by everyone that she had HIV because she was such a skinny little girl.

Now I ask you did this little girl report it and if she did why was no one listening that she got to this point where she was self-mutilating? How is this little girl going to cope in high school?

When I was younger I was verbally teased for being a nerd but today teasing is to an extreme. There is violence and weapons that get involved at some stage in the higher grades. What is happening?

Yes I understand teachers are under pressure from the children that are not behaving but then their bad behaviour should go on file and that file should follow them to high school so that the school is aware of the insolent pupil coming to their school and decide whether they want that pupil. Kids should be profiled from a young because if it is ignored the gangster mentality takes over and that in turn creates murderers and psychopaths.

Sad pupil being bullied by classmates at corridor in school

I am no child psychologist but have seen these things first-hand. So, who do we blame for this child’s behaviour? Are parents, teachers or older siblings at fault?

The unfortunate thing is that the bullied child will either be suicidal, antisocial or everything else that goes with mental health. The bully in turn might end up as a criminal when he/she becomes an adult.

Communication is key to making any system work. So lack of communication creates havoc and violence. The taunting might start off as a simple joke but eventually, become a serious problem.
So listen when a child speaks they might just be telling the truth and need your help. Not everyone is an attention seeker.

Be blessed and love and nurture your children.

Beautiful Moments

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful souls of our universe. Hopefully, the ether has been blessing you abundantly. Today I am writing about the beautiful moments of the war, yes there are moments but people are not aware as the soldiers never really talk about it.

This is a true story of a young soldier at the ripe age of eighteen in Angola in nineteen seventy-eight. His unit would patrol a different area every week by foot.

They came upon a village and they planned on being there for three days. They camped next to the river near the village and this is where our soldier was approached by a little lad of four years old-short pants, a scruffy shirt and no shoes.

As the dialect was not the same they battled to communicate but eventually, the soldier convinced the little one to fill his three canteens of water by the river.

On the lad’s return with the heavy canteens which he had been dragging behind himself to the soldier, the soldier, in turn, rewarded him. The soldier gave him one sweet and peanut bar from his rat pack. You must realise the soldier only had a bit of ration so what he gave the little lad was a lot of his own ration.

As the day went by the little lad had not gone back to the village yet and the sun was already setting. His mother eventually came looking for him and the little lad did not want to leave. The soldier asked the local person that understood the uvambo language, why the little one did not want to leave?

The person relayed back to the soldier that the mother had said he had never had any sugar or sweets since the little one’s birth. He came back every day for sweeties but unfortunately, the soldiers left a few days later and the little one cried while waving goodbye.

On his travels, he met a little girl aged eight in a POW camp while he was waiting to fly out of Angola. He befriended her from the other side of the fence as he could not get into the camp. She could not speak English. She understood when he gave her some of his condensed milk called a pikkie and a vitamin c sweet that he was not an enemy but a friend.

After a few days, he had to leave. On the day of departure, she handed him a piece of paper with Portuguese wording which he could not understand. He could only have it translated when he got back to his initial base camp. The note said, `I do not know who you are, but I love you.’

The experience of meeting the little lad and sharing the rations with him made him feel happy that he made a difference in the little lad’s life for just a moment, but the memory will last a lifetime for the little one. The little girl in the camp brought out his brotherly feelings as he had a little sister at home.

He felt that he hopefully made the moments they shared memorable so that she did not think that all soldiers were bad.

Be blessed and always make memories with little humans that will stay with them. Those two little people will tell their children about the soldier that brightened their dark moments with a sweetie.