Bullying is Not Okay

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day beautiful inhabitants of our planet. Today I am writing on a subject we all recognise. I myself went through bullying at school and my brother was taunted because of his disability when he was younger.

I heard of a little boy of ten that was taunted daily at school. He lost interest in school work and he would tell his mommy he is feeling ill just so that he would not have to go to school. He reported the incidents to the teachers and the mother was told not to go to the education department of the area as the school will investigate the incidents. The bullies kept on taunting the young boy that the mother approached the parents of the children as it was becoming a big problem. The main bully was making his two friends also bully the boy.

Since the subject was discussed between the parents and the school; the pupils have for now stopped the taunting and the little boy is doing much better at school.

This is primary school what is going to happen in high school?

The other incident in the same school was of an eleven-year-old girl who slit her wrist with a scissor in the class while the teacher had left the class. When asked why she was doing that she said that she was teased by everyone that she had HIV because she was such a skinny little girl.

Now I ask you did this little girl report it and if she did why was no one listening that she got to this point where she was self-mutilating? How is this little girl going to cope in high school?

When I was younger I was verbally teased for being a nerd but today teasing is to an extreme. There is violence and weapons that get involved at some stage in the higher grades. What is happening?

Yes I understand teachers are under pressure from the children that are not behaving but then their bad behaviour should go on file and that file should follow them to high school so that the school is aware of the insolent pupil coming to their school and decide whether they want that pupil. Kids should be profiled from a young because if it is ignored the gangster mentality takes over and that in turn creates murderers and psychopaths.

Sad pupil being bullied by classmates at corridor in school

I am no child psychologist but have seen these things first-hand. So, who do we blame for this child’s behaviour? Are parents, teachers or older siblings at fault?

The unfortunate thing is that the bullied child will either be suicidal, antisocial or everything else that goes with mental health. The bully in turn might end up as a criminal when he/she becomes an adult.

Communication is key to making any system work. So lack of communication creates havoc and violence. The taunting might start off as a simple joke but eventually, become a serious problem.
So listen when a child speaks they might just be telling the truth and need your help. Not everyone is an attention seeker.

Be blessed and love and nurture your children.

Beautiful Moments

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful souls of our universe. Hopefully, the ether has been blessing you abundantly. Today I am writing about the beautiful moments of the war, yes there are moments but people are not aware as the soldiers never really talk about it.

This is a true story of a young soldier at the ripe age of eighteen in Angola in nineteen seventy-eight. His unit would patrol a different area every week by foot.

They came upon a village and they planned on being there for three days. They camped next to the river near the village and this is where our soldier was approached by a little lad of four years old-short pants, a scruffy shirt and no shoes.

As the dialect was not the same they battled to communicate but eventually, the soldier convinced the little one to fill his three canteens of water by the river.

On the lad’s return with the heavy canteens which he had been dragging behind himself to the soldier, the soldier, in turn, rewarded him. The soldier gave him one sweet and peanut bar from his rat pack. You must realise the soldier only had a bit of ration so what he gave the little lad was a lot of his own ration.

As the day went by the little lad had not gone back to the village yet and the sun was already setting. His mother eventually came looking for him and the little lad did not want to leave. The soldier asked the local person that understood the uvambo language, why the little one did not want to leave?

The person relayed back to the soldier that the mother had said he had never had any sugar or sweets since the little one’s birth. He came back every day for sweeties but unfortunately, the soldiers left a few days later and the little one cried while waving goodbye.

On his travels, he met a little girl aged eight in a POW camp while he was waiting to fly out of Angola. He befriended her from the other side of the fence as he could not get into the camp. She could not speak English. She understood when he gave her some of his condensed milk called a pikkie and a vitamin c sweet that he was not an enemy but a friend.

After a few days, he had to leave. On the day of departure, she handed him a piece of paper with Portuguese wording which he could not understand. He could only have it translated when he got back to his initial base camp. The note said, `I do not know who you are, but I love you.’

The experience of meeting the little lad and sharing the rations with him made him feel happy that he made a difference in the little lad’s life for just a moment, but the memory will last a lifetime for the little one. The little girl in the camp brought out his brotherly feelings as he had a little sister at home.

He felt that he hopefully made the moments they shared memorable so that she did not think that all soldiers were bad.

Be blessed and always make memories with little humans that will stay with them. Those two little people will tell their children about the soldier that brightened their dark moments with a sweetie.

Then I Grew Up

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful souls. As usual, I hope you are well and being blessed every day. Today I am going to write about baby humans and baby animals, they don`t stay small – they grow up.

I wrote in a previous article about handbag dogs. To my horror, I got asked to babysit a handbag dog.

This is where my subject matter starts. We all love baby animals, puppies and kittens. Beware, people, they grow up and behave the way we program them. They get born all fluffy and cute and when they are big some humans either give them away or dump them. How disgusting. Imagine your mum gave birth to you and dumped you in the nearest bin when you start crawling and walking.

The human is strange, they love the idea of cuteness and when that idea is gone they get bored with the said animal.

Animals have feelings and as with our children no matter how old they get they will always need us and in return when the children are out of the home the dog or cat is your companion. They give you loyalty and love and in return, all they ask for is love, food and water and an occasional outfit.

As I said the human gets bored so when his child grows up he has to keep the child it`s not something he can dispose of. So if you are financially stable you get a nanny even though you may be a housewife, which is strange to me.

Is going to pilates and the mall more important than spending precious time with your child? Of course, some parents need help as they both work and have hectic lives, not all people can afford nannies and they have to depend on friends and family in their community. Yet still, they find time for their children.

Money can buy basically anything but it cant fix the emotional pain the animal is going through when you- the human dont want them anymore.

A child or animal behaviour is based on what they were taught at an early stage.

In general, human being is destructive and gets rid of what they dont need. Yes some people leave the children by their parents as its in their culture the elders take care of them. Each to his own philosophy.

Sometimes single parents need help plus they add animals to the mix, hell no. Life is busy enough, so when you bring any animal into your life make sure it`s not just temporary as the children and dog start forming a bond and they in turn protect the children and you.

Cuteness comes with a price. If it`s a woman, remember she gets old and wrinkly but so do you sir, you don’t stay Brad Pitt forever.

Nee boetie dis nie hoe die lewe loop nie

I am not wanting to insult anyone but hopefully shed some light on these situations.

I myself had my daughter live with family but that was due to my husband abusing me, but that`s a story for another day.

Stay warm and toasty, hopefully with a cup of milo and homemade biscuits.

Tot weer siens. Bly veilig en geseend.

Selfish Humans

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day loyal readers I hope you are well and mother nature rains abundance upon you. This week I am writing about the selfish patient. As you all know I am a Carer and I take care of my partner. My partner is happiest when his needs are met but when I need to get to the little life I have he has opinions sometimes.

I am sympathetic and empathic to his needs but when I voice my needs and wants he has a few golden words of wisdom.

Some days I bite my tongue and just compose myself but then I get those moments where I think why am I doing this? I know I chose this life but I think how much more can I take?

Alone time to oneself is so important but us as Carers never get there, as we run the household work elsewhere and must still make time for children and grandchildren. I have decided a while back to go see a psychologist as when my mental state takes strain I have a place to go that sees to only my needs and it is a safe place where I can wind down and let go of my feelings.

My partner has children and extended family but as todays children are; they don`t come visit or offer to help but they also have so many suggestions. They never ask me how am I? Could they spend a day with him and give me some time to get to whatever I would like to do.

I know some people would say I can be lucky to have a partner as their loved ones have passed on and they are alone. I do practice gratefulness but there are times when I must also be selfish and find time to breathe and just be me.

I used to be a people pleaser but the mental mind tends to bring you back down to earth and slow you down and make you aware that you need self – care. I am always taking care of people but they have this notion that I magically have all the time in the world and will jump for them.

That is the selfish patient. Taking care of people is not about the money as the money you get paid can`t buy time off.

Men in general are very sensitive when they are sick, to me it is in their nature. Ladies whether sick or not just keep on going as we cannot cancel our life and say when we better we will get back to it.

I have my health issues and when I talk about them I get told that I am always sick. This coming from my partner who keeps me awake at night, no sleep for me. It is like having a baby all over except that this baby is not going to grow up and move out of the house.

So to the people men or women that are devoting their lives to those kind of people with partial selfishness, you will be losing yourself along your way and when you find yourself ill and need attention no one will be there for you.

Be blessed and take care of your mental mind.

Colours, the Little Mermaid

Children’s story was written by Grazia Martienssen
Gooday children, Flyer the seagull here, let me tell you about:

Playing Together

Once I was flying over the ocean when I saw a colourful little mermaid, she had a colourful tail and long colourful hair. Everyone called her Colours. She was very cheerful and happy. One day she saw some children on the beach and decided to make friends with them.
I didn’t catch the children’s names. Were you there? Have you ever played with a mermaid?

Exciting Times

The children saw her approaching and shouted,
“Look, a girl with colourful hair!” As she approached they saw her tail.
“It’s a mermaid, they said excitedly.”
“Yes, and my name is Colours,” she said.
“Wow, I can see why you are called colours,” replied the children.
“I am the youngest of 3 sisters, and the most colourful one of them all,” she said. “Can I play with you please?” Colours asked.
“Yes,” they all said very excitedly.
In the hours that followed, they played all kinds of games. They played throwing the ball into the water, and when it went too far, Colours would swim to fetch it.
They played skipping, and Colours skipped with the waves while using them as a skipping rope. They had so much fun and played so many games.

Suddenly two more mermaids appeared.
“My sisters have arrived!” said Colours, before introducing them to the children. The sisters joined in the fun and showed the children some new games to play. They played so many games and had so much fun!
I didn’t hear the names of the 2 mermaids. Do you know their names?

What games do you think they played together? I should have written them all down to remember them. Maybe you know?

Then they took the children underwater and invited them to their house for lunch. The house was beautiful, and the meal was delicious.

Do you know what they ate?
What do you think the house was made of?

Back up
When they were finished eating the mermaids took the children back up and gave them some mermaid bread to take home.

I think the bread was made from seaweed, but I am not sure.

Do you know how mermaids bake their bread?

Flyer the Seagull

Written by Grazia Martienssen

Hello, I am Flyer

Flying around:
Goodday children, my name is Flyer, the talking seagull. I fly around the world bringing you stories of the fun and exciting things that children do. Sometimes I look in widows, sit in trees, or on the roofs of houses to watch them play; all this so I can tell their stories. On rare occasions, I also make special trips underwater, so I can bring you stories about mermaids and other mysterious underwater creatures.

Do you like seagulls?
Have you seen me at the beach, or fly past your house?

About us seagulls:
Let me tell you a little bit about us seagulls. We build our nests on sand dunes, sea cliffs, anywhere close to the beach really. Many people don’t know this, but we are very smart; when there is no fish to catch, I drop shellfish on rocks, so it opens and then I eat it. I also trick earthworms to come to the surface by stamping my feet which sounds like rainfall. When this doesn’t work, we make cute noises and hand movements, so you throw us bread. I was one of three chicks born on Robben Island; luckily, we all know the same tricks to get food, so we never go hungry.

Do you remember the sounds that we make to get food? Give it a go!

One day I saw some children playing on the beach having so much fun, so I followed them home and saw them sitting around a fire while their granny told them a story. They seemed to enjoy it so much that I decided to tell stories as well. Sometimes my friends tell me what they saw, so I will bring you those stories as well. I do hope you will enjoy my stories. Maybe one day I will also get to watch you play, then I will bring your stories to other children as well.

Have you ever seen one of our nests?
Can you name three things that nests can be made of?

Till next time:

Time for me to fly now so I can watch some children having fun, then I can tell you their stories again. Till next time. Goodbye.

The Wellington Boots

Children’s Story written by Grazia Martienssen

Hello, children Big Bear here gather round as I tell you about…

Growing Fast:

Ben and Cindy were growing up fast and had a lot of clothes and shoes, which were too small for them. One day mom decided to go through their wardrobes with them before buying new clothes and shoes. The children were very excited about this. As they went through the clothes, they decided who to donate them to.

What do you do with clothes or shoes that are too small for you?
Do you have someone to pass them on to?

Deciding Who to Give Them to:

‘Let’s give my pretty party dress to my cousin Wendy, because she really likes it, and these shoes can go to my friend Lizzie, I think they will fit her,’ said Cindy excitedly.
‘My warm jacket let’s donate that to poor children mommy.’ Ben was also deciding who to give his clothes and shoes to.
‘My cowboy suit, I think my cousin Peter should have that, and my school shoes are too small, let’s give them to my friend David as he’s going to start school next year,’ said Ben excitedly.
‘This tracksuit can be donated to poor children,’ said Ben.
The clothes and shoes that were worn out went into a pile for recycling.
‘I will tear the worst ones up for rags and donate the others for recycling,’ said mom.
So together they made four piles of clothes and shoes. One was for their cousins, one for their friends, one for the poor children, and one for the recycling bin. Finally, mom took out their wellington boots. Both children loved their boots. They were a gift from their granny, and they always had so much fun when they wore them. Splashing around in the rain puddles outside, on their way to school, and even on their way back, or to a friend’s house.
‘I really want to keep those,’ said Ben. ‘Me too,’ said Cindy.

Did you know that old things can be recycled?
Does your family take things to the recycling bins?

Mom thought for a while. She didn’t want to upset the children by getting rid of their boots. But they were too small and worn out.
‘I know!’ she said after a while. ‘They can be made into birdhouses, that way they’ll be in the garden, and you’ll see them every day, and the birds can also enjoy them,’ said mom.
‘But how?’ Ben asked.
‘Can birds live in our boots?’ asked Cindy.
‘I will show you,’ said mom.
She then cut a big hole in the front of each boot and asked dad to make a little wooden roof for each one. When he glued the roofs on them, he let them dry till the next day and then put them outside. Two hanging from tree branches and two with hooks hanging from the wall.

Do you and your family recycle old things at home?
What can you make out of old things?

Feeding the Birds:

The children loved the birdhouses and were very happy that their old boots had been recycled in this way. Every day they put bird seeds or bread crumbs in the birdhouses. One day they saw that two little birds had made their nests in the two birdhouses hanging from the tree branches. They were so excited and couldn’t wait for the eggs to hatch.

Do you like birds?
Do birds come to your garden?

The Magic Toolbox

Children Story Written by Grazia Martienssen

Hello children, Big Bear here, gather round as I tell you about…

Busy Elves:
One day shortly before Christmas, Santa and his elves were so busy making toys in the workshop in the North Pole, that the elves wished the toys themselves would help. As they finished making a toolbox, the box suddenly opened by itself, and all the tools jumped out and started helping.

Different Talent:
The saw started sawing, the hammer started hammering, and each tool started doing what tools are meant to do. I don’t remember how many tools there were, but they worked hard together, and each used their talent to help the elves. Santa and the elves were very pleased and were able to take a nice break thanks to the help of the tools. They made wooden toys, plastic tools, along with both wire and fluffy toys. They made all kinds of toys and games. I was one of the first toys made and I wanted to help. I asked Santa what I could do to help and he told me to arrange smaller toys on their shelf, so that’s just what I did. At the end of the day the tools went back in the tool box and I retired to my shelf.

What kind of toys do you think they made?

Would you have helped if you were there?

Have you ever seen Santa’s workshop and his elves?

After a while I heard all the tools talking to one another. Some were even bragging about what they had done. ‘I hammered everything so nicely,’ said the hammer. ‘I tightened all the screws,’ said the screwdriver. The saw sighed, ‘I wish I was as talented as you hammer, or as clever as you screwdriver.’ Some of the other tools also wished they had different talents. Finally, the toolbox itself spoke. ‘You are all a family of tools, and you all have different talents and are all equally important,’ it said. ‘If you were all hammers how would the sawing get done? Or if you were all saws, which one of you would hammer?’ the toolbox insisted. ‘Aww I understand,’ said the saw, ‘So my job is also important.’ ‘Was my job also important?’ the pliers asked. ‘Yes,’ said a very smiley toolbox. Even Big Bear did a wonderful job of arranging the smaller toys on the shelf. I felt so proud to hear that.

What are your talents?

What are you good at?

What are your friends, brothers and sisters good at doing?

Christmas Eve:
A few days later it was Christmas Eve and Santa and the elves put us all in a big sack and flew around the world with the reindeer, to deliver gifts to all the children. I fell asleep before the magic toolbox was delivered, so I don’t know who received it.

Do you know who received the magic toolbox?

Did you or one of your friends or siblings perhaps get it?

Where Are Our Children

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Hello to all our loyal readers. Without you, we could not reach out and help someone that might read our article and find it helpful. I’m writing about parents that need their children in their time of need and they are absent. This next passage I’m going to write is about a parent who has given me permission to write his thoughts.

Coming back from the hospital where my left foot was amputated I was trying to get in the house up the stairs I had to go up from behind and on my bottom. Once I got inside it was a battle trying to get into a chair as I wasn’t equipped with paraplegic aides. I took the walker and moved slowly toward the bedroom but on the turn going toward the bedroom I lost footing and fell. My carer was trying to help as much as she could but it was the first day home so we were still trying to find a way to do things. As I lay there tears filled my eyes as I realised that I was alone – where are my sons? Why cant they be there to pick me up as I picked them up when they were in pain? I finally found myself in the bed, sleep evaded me. I was wondering -who will pick me up when I fall tomorrow again?

I myself feel lonely sometimes. I have two daughters but they have lives of their own and also have challenges. I try to be there for them but I myself fall emotionally and wish they are there to pick me up when I go to a dark place. When our children are grown they seem to think they are no longer a part of us as they have their extended families also to spend time with. Many children do so much for their parents and others disappear. Where do our children go? As parents grow older they need to feel loved and like they matter and not that they are only an ATM to their children and a place to stay when times get tough. Acknowledge us as parents. Make parents feel like they are a part of your life and make sacrifices for them as they gave up many things the day you were born.

Dont go knocking on your parents door when you hear they are ill. Are you already counting the money you will inherit when they die or are you really concerned? Remember your parent has worked really hard in life to get where they are in life and of course it will all go to you but dontcount your chickens before they hatch. Your parents didnt count pennies when you were born they did what they had to do to get you grown-up, educated and tried to teach you respect toward mankind. No matter what your mother had to do – she did what she had to do to feed and clothe you so dont throw her away when she is in need. Your father gave up hes aspirations and had you in mind as he was sweating at work everyday to earn a living, so its time you wipe the sweat from hes brow if hes ill.

Don`t let society consume your humanity and make you part of the rat race. Keep your humanity and empathy. Be the child your parents dreamt you would be one. Make them proud. Whether you are a cleaner or pilot, just love and respect your parents and everyone else.

May the universe bless you with abundance and bring love and light to you and your loved ones in the month ahead.

Parental Abuse by Debbie Jordaan

It’s a subject very few people talk about. What I’m going to write about is based on experience from friends and family members and of my times as a carer. The way children treat their parents.
When I look at it I see that if children were brought up with a deserving mentality they as adults demand from the parent but little do they realise they have to work for what they want. A parent works for something their whole life and these deserving children want without any idea of what their parent went through to get what they have.

As a person gets older they want less drama and responsibility and in swoops this child that thinks they are going to grab the opportunity to control the parent and whatever else. A business for instance. They forget it took the parent years to get the business to success and they start telling the parent what the said parent needs. First of all the child changes everything, disregards the needs of the workers and demands respect all of a sudden. Then him and he’s wife try to control the father and he’s daily living withholding he’s own money from him. The father thought he’s doing a good thing by letting he’s son take over.
I grew up being taught that you work for what you want or you work for what you get. I taught my two daughters as many things as I could which my mum had taught me. It’s trivial what it is you are working for just do it as no one else should be doing it for you if you are able bodied.

 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Another case study is of a mother that gives her all to her children to the maximum and beyond. She is going through financial problems now and her glorified children two adults that don’t work tell her she’s not good enough she can’t even take care of them. Okay so they have both worked before, had children that my friend is taking care of because they say she’s not a good enough grandma. Okay so who made those grand-kids? The daughter calls her mother a whore and a useless parent and she wishes her mother aborted. That to me is mental abuse.
Then you get a mother who lives with her son and he tells her what to do daily. If he says no she just agrees. Is he hitting her or is it just the fact that she is elderly and has lost her fight. Like some children he has nothing. He sold her things for drugs and he’s sibling is also a drug addict. The mother molly coddles them yet her other son runs he’s departed fathers business. He has sober habits and good values. Where did it all go wrong?
As people get older their children want to dictate as I’m sure their only thought is if their parents have assets that they have to keep an eye on the parent in case they spend the money then they have nothing to inherit. Now on the flip side there are wonderful children out there. They take care of their parents. They give back what was given to them. Wish my mom were still alive. I’d die for her. So where does the problem lie? Is it the parents fault for molly coddling the children or is it the child who has a deserving mentality?
In conclusion my opinion is that we as parents must think before spoiling the children to the point that they becoming deserving human beings. We love our children but maybe by teaching them good moral values and work for what you want our future leaders just might be worth their weight in gold.
Be safe and be blessed.