Written by Elsabe Smit
I have had issues with people grabbing onto affirmations and hoping for the best for a long time. My feeling has always been that when a person repeats affirmations and hopes for the best, I can hear the fear, disbelief and general misery behind those repetitions.
I have discovered why that is the case, and how you can in fact use affirmations to make your life better.
I will describe the process step by step as I now understand it.
Firstly, let go of any affirmation that did not come directly from you. No matter how good the guru is that gave the affirmation to you, it is not your affirmation. Accepting any affirmation from someone else is like accepting underwear that was not chosen by you, and expecting that this underwear will make you feel good about yourself. It does not work that way.
Next, you need to understand where affirmations come from.
Imagine that you have access to the biggest shopping mall in creation – not just in this universe, but in all universes, both known and unknown. In this mall, you will find everything that has already been created, and also everything that will still come to the attention of mankind because it already exists in this shopping mall that is called the ethereal. Also, imagine that you have all the money in the world, and this allows you to go into this shopping mall and buy whatever you please.
Then you bring the item that you have bought back home (to the astral level) and then you use the item in your everyday life. This item is your own personal affirmation that you selected when you had all the options and choices in the world available to you.
Let us take the example of road rage. Assume that you are prone to road rage – whether it is just a little bit or a lot, and you want to get rid of this road rage.
You have the option of grabbing an affirmation and repeating “I no longer have road rage” like a preacher on acid, however many times a day, and hoping (fingers crossed) that the relevant neuropathways will grow and save you from yourself, and that one morning you will magically wake up and you will no longer have road rage. And pigs may fly, and unicorns are real.
Here is a different approach. Imagine that you are looking at yourself and you acknowledge that you are prone to road rage, which no longer serves you.
This is like acknowledging that you went to this ethereal shopping mall and you picked road rage from a shelf and took it home, and now you have to live with your choice. You do not – just like you do not need to live with a garment that you picked from this mall only to discover later on that it was the wrong size. Just like you do not need to live with the garment knowing that you have outgrown it.
Time to go shopping. When you get into this ethereal shopping mall, what will you choose instead of road rage? I would say what I want is “I am calm and peaceful when I drive, no matter what other drivers do.” Those are my words, and all I paid for these words is the insight that this is exactly what I want to have in my life.
Then I bring these words home – into my spiritual and real home – by writing the words down so that I will not forget what exactly I bought.
Then I need to ensure that my brand spanking new purchase does not disappear into a wardrobe or cupboard, but that I in fact use it as intended.
So how do I want to use my affirmation of “I am calm and peaceful when I drive, no matter what other drivers do.”?
I think about it and decide that I will see proof of this affirmation when I graciously allow another driver to cut in when they want to change lanes. And if the driver did not use an indicator and still cut in? I will simply repeat my own affirmation because that affirmation is now becoming my own reality and not an imposed reality from some guru. Who knows: this other driver may have a bad day, and my generosity may just ease their burden. And what do I lose in the process? I lose a neuro pathway that no longer serves me.
Then another driver does not react quickly when the traffic light turns green, and I am behind their car and in a hurry. Do I use the horn that I got for Christmas and make my annoyance clear to not only that driver but also every other driver in sight? No. I say to myself of “I am calm and peaceful when I drive, no matter what other drivers do.” And I remind myself that life will continue when I reach my destination a few seconds later than planned.
Can you see what is happening here? The affirmation is now based on a deep sense of knowing, and I choose how I change my behaviour so that I can be aligned with my own personal affirmation. Those desired neuropathways grow stronger whenever I do this, and the result is not based on any emotion at all. It just is, and it makes me feel good.
Now I have value for my money, and now I know that I simply started off by using the wrong product from the mall. Now I have the correct product, and I actually wrote the manual, and I am a happy customer.
That is how I will use affirmations. This meets the three requirements for any successful affirmation, namely
• Say it (identify the desired product in the ethereal shopping mall)
• See it (bring the chosen product down to the astral level of deciding how to use it best)
• Act and do (use this chosen product so often that it because part of the DNA in every cell of your body.)
The important point is that you need to put your own affirmations into your own words, and then use these affirmations in ways that make sense to you – not to other people.