Where Are Our Children

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Hello to all our loyal readers. Without you, we could not reach out and help someone that might read our article and find it helpful. I’m writing about parents that need their children in their time of need and they are absent. This next passage I’m going to write is about a parent who has given me permission to write his thoughts.

Coming back from the hospital where my left foot was amputated I was trying to get in the house up the stairs I had to go up from behind and on my bottom. Once I got inside it was a battle trying to get into a chair as I wasn’t equipped with paraplegic aides. I took the walker and moved slowly toward the bedroom but on the turn going toward the bedroom I lost footing and fell. My carer was trying to help as much as she could but it was the first day home so we were still trying to find a way to do things. As I lay there tears filled my eyes as I realised that I was alone – where are my sons? Why cant they be there to pick me up as I picked them up when they were in pain? I finally found myself in the bed, sleep evaded me. I was wondering -who will pick me up when I fall tomorrow again?

I myself feel lonely sometimes. I have two daughters but they have lives of their own and also have challenges. I try to be there for them but I myself fall emotionally and wish they are there to pick me up when I go to a dark place. When our children are grown they seem to think they are no longer a part of us as they have their extended families also to spend time with. Many children do so much for their parents and others disappear. Where do our children go? As parents grow older they need to feel loved and like they matter and not that they are only an ATM to their children and a place to stay when times get tough. Acknowledge us as parents. Make parents feel like they are a part of your life and make sacrifices for them as they gave up many things the day you were born.

Dont go knocking on your parents door when you hear they are ill. Are you already counting the money you will inherit when they die or are you really concerned? Remember your parent has worked really hard in life to get where they are in life and of course it will all go to you but dontcount your chickens before they hatch. Your parents didnt count pennies when you were born they did what they had to do to get you grown-up, educated and tried to teach you respect toward mankind. No matter what your mother had to do – she did what she had to do to feed and clothe you so dont throw her away when she is in need. Your father gave up hes aspirations and had you in mind as he was sweating at work everyday to earn a living, so its time you wipe the sweat from hes brow if hes ill.

Don`t let society consume your humanity and make you part of the rat race. Keep your humanity and empathy. Be the child your parents dreamt you would be one. Make them proud. Whether you are a cleaner or pilot, just love and respect your parents and everyone else.

May the universe bless you with abundance and bring love and light to you and your loved ones in the month ahead.

We are a mere memory in a Box by Deborah Jordaan

Good day to our loyal readers. Hope you are all well in these trying times we are going through. My article this month is about, “What happens to our material belongings when we die?”

All my stories come from personal experiences.

I have in my possession a few belongings of relatives. No one is fighting over it as it’s of no worth to them. If it were expensive jewellery or heirlooms that can be sold they would be here to fetch it.

It’s very sad that some relatives value you after your death for what you have left behind instead of missing the person that has passed on. Material possessions get sold if they have value and the deceased person is sometimes forgotten.

Yes we can go on with life but keep that person alive in memories of times gone by.

I have little notes my mom wrote. To some it would just be nonsensical but I have memories of my mom sitting watching cooking channels and writing notes of the recipes and she would try to make the meal and she made it so nice.

All of us have memories of loved ones and we should keep their quirky and wonderful things they did in our mind and to keep their stories alive in our children and grandchildren.

My grandchildren remember my mom and the little things she did for them and we talk about her to keep her alive in our memories.

Some families put the deceased person’s belongings in a box and it never is seen unless it gets sold. They amount the deceased person’s life to only a few belongings in a box-the few non valuable things left in the box are what people define the deceased as.

My cousin passed on in the beginning of the year and all they fought about was who is going to keep the ashes because some contributed more money than others.

Her belongings are with me and no one is bothered to look what her life was about from her hair dressing equipment to her poetry she wrote. That means nothing to them to see what she was about as a person.

All they remember is the bad times she went through, the mother she wasn’t to her son and that she was on pain tablets but they didn’t think she was in extreme pain because of her cancer-she didn’t share her tragedies with any of us.

None of them even know why she died. She was judged before death and still so after her death. Instead of remembering her for the bubbly person she was before her illness they only remember tragedy.

It’s so sad how things end that way.

Let’s hope when our time comes to become part of the universe that we will be remembered in love. Be grateful for now and that you are loved and cherished.

Be blessed.

My Doll

“My Doll”
We emigrated from Sicily in 1964, when I was 5 years old. After school I went back for 2 years, and my favourite great-aunt or “pro-zia” as we say in Italian, had a doll on the couch, nothing special just a toy. She told me that I had left it behind, and she’d kept it as a souvenir and given it my name -Grazia. Years later she died not having had any children.

“Inheritance”
One of my cousins inherited the house. Years later my nephew from Australia went to Italy, he visited the house with the intention of purchasing it to keep it in the family. He sent me photos and I asked if there was a doll, he said ‘’yes, but it was mouldy, dirty, naked and missing one leg’’. Nobody knew anything about it, so I told him the story. My cousin, who inherited the house decided to look for the leg, which she found.

My 93-year-old aunt in Sicily, which is my dad’s sister who moved to South Africa before us, made it her mission to fix, clean and clothe the doll in order to reunite it with me after all this time. Being a sentimental person with a heart of gold, she stopped at nothing less than making sure the leg functioned again like it did when I was a child. With the ordeal of the leg out the way, she even went as far as knitting an outfit for the doll. The doll is now ready to go and is awaiting my nephew’s next visit to Italy for it to be shipped back to me.

​“Can’t go now”
Unfortunately, though, due to the current world-wide crisis that COVID-19 is causing, I may have to wait a while longer to see the doll in person again. The doll is waiting, and hopefully after everything settles, he’ll be able to go again, and my aunt will have the satisfaction of knowing I have received it. I would have totally understood if they had thrown it away, after all, it is just a toy…..expect for the sentimental value they attached to it, which makes me feel loved and special.

In short, this story proves that objects can be lost or misplaced, and memories can gradually grow faint, but sentimental value itself is timeless, and it has the ability to create comfort when least expected. The “doll”, well Grazia ‘’Junior’’ lives on.

Thanks for reading

Grazia ‘’Senior’’