When is an Affirmation Good?

Written by Elsabe Smit

I have had issues with people grabbing onto affirmations and hoping for the best for a long time. My feeling has always been that when a person repeats affirmations and hopes for the best, I can hear the fear, disbelief and general misery behind those repetitions.

I have discovered why that is the case, and how you can in fact use affirmations to make your life better.

I will describe the process step by step as I now understand it.

Firstly, let go of any affirmation that did not come directly from you. No matter how good the guru is that gave the affirmation to you, it is not your affirmation. Accepting any affirmation from someone else is like accepting underwear that was not chosen by you, and expecting that this underwear will make you feel good about yourself. It does not work that way.

Next, you need to understand where affirmations come from.

Imagine that you have access to the biggest shopping mall in creation – not just in this universe, but in all universes, both known and unknown. In this mall, you will find everything that has already been created, and also everything that will still come to the attention of mankind because it already exists in this shopping mall that is called the ethereal. Also, imagine that you have all the money in the world, and this allows you to go into this shopping mall and buy whatever you please.

Then you bring the item that you have bought back home (to the astral level) and then you use the item in your everyday life. This item is your own personal affirmation that you selected when you had all the options and choices in the world available to you.

Let us take the example of road rage. Assume that you are prone to road rage – whether it is just a little bit or a lot, and you want to get rid of this road rage.

You have the option of grabbing an affirmation and repeating “I no longer have road rage” like a preacher on acid, however many times a day, and hoping (fingers crossed) that the relevant neuropathways will grow and save you from yourself, and that one morning you will magically wake up and you will no longer have road rage. And pigs may fly, and unicorns are real.

Here is a different approach. Imagine that you are looking at yourself and you acknowledge that you are prone to road rage, which no longer serves you.

This is like acknowledging that you went to this ethereal shopping mall and you picked road rage from a shelf and took it home, and now you have to live with your choice. You do not – just like you do not need to live with a garment that you picked from this mall only to discover later on that it was the wrong size. Just like you do not need to live with the garment knowing that you have outgrown it.

Time to go shopping. When you get into this ethereal shopping mall, what will you choose instead of road rage? I would say what I want is “I am calm and peaceful when I drive, no matter what other drivers do.” Those are my words, and all I paid for these words is the insight that this is exactly what I want to have in my life.

Then I bring these words home – into my spiritual and real home – by writing the words down so that I will not forget what exactly I bought.

Then I need to ensure that my brand spanking new purchase does not disappear into a wardrobe or cupboard, but that I in fact use it as intended.

So how do I want to use my affirmation of “I am calm and peaceful when I drive, no matter what other drivers do.”?

I think about it and decide that I will see proof of this affirmation when I graciously allow another driver to cut in when they want to change lanes. And if the driver did not use an indicator and still cut in? I will simply repeat my own affirmation because that affirmation is now becoming my own reality and not an imposed reality from some guru. Who knows: this other driver may have a bad day, and my generosity may just ease their burden. And what do I lose in the process? I lose a neuro pathway that no longer serves me.

Then another driver does not react quickly when the traffic light turns green, and I am behind their car and in a hurry. Do I use the horn that I got for Christmas and make my annoyance clear to not only that driver but also every other driver in sight? No. I say to myself of “I am calm and peaceful when I drive, no matter what other drivers do.” And I remind myself that life will continue when I reach my destination a few seconds later than planned.

Can you see what is happening here? The affirmation is now based on a deep sense of knowing, and I choose how I change my behaviour so that I can be aligned with my own personal affirmation. Those desired neuropathways grow stronger whenever I do this, and the result is not based on any emotion at all. It just is, and it makes me feel good.

Now I have value for my money, and now I know that I simply started off by using the wrong product from the mall. Now I have the correct product, and I actually wrote the manual, and I am a happy customer.

That is how I will use affirmations. This meets the three requirements for any successful affirmation, namely
• Say it (identify the desired product in the ethereal shopping mall)
• See it (bring the chosen product down to the astral level of deciding how to use it best)
• Act and do (use this chosen product so often that it because part of the DNA in every cell of your body.)

The important point is that you need to put your own affirmations into your own words, and then use these affirmations in ways that make sense to you – not to other people.

Namaste.

My Solace

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day loyal readers. Today I am writing about what makes me find peace and calm in the crazy world I call my life. We all find solace in something or someone and we feel like we are home.

Do we ever find peace in our minds? I do not know if that is possible sometimes. To me, I find my solace when I see the love in people’s eyes when they look at me with thanks and adoration.

The job I do as a carer always makes me feel like I am home when I see the elderly. It lightens my heart. They appreciate everything I do for them and in turn, I give them the love I would give my dearly departed mother and grandmother. Every granny I see I see a trait my dear mother had. So they all as a collective personify my mother. I see their pain and longing for a child and give them emotionally what they need and they give me what I need just by being there to listen to me or by allowing me to help them with whatever it is they need.

When my mother was alive I could never imagine that one day she would not be there and that I would miss her so much. I search for her in every older lady I meet. When a glimmer of my mother shines through I am attached to the person. So we are forever trying to find significance in other humans.

All I want is to be happy and enjoy the moment in another person’s company. My grandsons fill my soul with peace and happiness. They are my refuge.

I had two daughters and the chance to have more children was taken from me. When my grandbabies were born I thanked the universe for giving me the ideal family, two daughters and two grandsons. What more could I ask. I am a very emotional being and when my soul is happy I am forever faithful to the person that makes me happy.

It is not easy to find that feeling of wonderment, so grasp it with both hands when you do. We do not need someone to complete us, we need someone to be part of our soul.

A soul mate does not have to be one person, it can be a few people who contribute to the well-being of our souls.

Animals and nature can also be our places we go if we need that feeling of being completely happy or at least part of it. We cannot be happy all the time but if we find happiness part of the time, that is also okay.

So I hope you find your happy place and when you do hold on to it as people take a lifetime to search for it but sometimes never find it. Be blessed and loved.

Have happy thoughts.

Be Yourself

Written by Karin Kelly — Transformation Coach

Focus word “BE YOURSELF “
We look outside of ourselves for love since that is how we found stability and love as children. We received rewards for our good deeds. The truth is, the love you’re looking for can only come from within.

Here are 3—of a couple points to practise being YOU.

• Cast Out the Idea That You Have to Be Perfect

If you’re wondering how to practice self-love, start by ditching the idea of perfect; perfect in every way—body, life, IQ. The idea of perfection is false, and when you see it on social media, it frequently hides serious mental health problems.

• Understand That Sometimes Social Expectations Offer Unrealistic Standards.

You are unique on this earth and cannot reasonably be compared to anyone else. You are the only one to whom you should compare yourself.

• Daily gratitude is the key to happiness and loving yourself.

When we get comfortable, we get ungrateful. Change that, and show gratitude every day.

Daily habits of intentionally recognising and feeling gratitude are one of the highest emotional and vibrational states you can experience. When you cultivate gratitude, you are able to feel true joy and peace, no matter what you currently have or don’t have in your life.

For those who understand how to use this power and practice it daily, they are able to attract more things into their lives to be thankful for.

Be Safe … Be YOU

#beingyou #coachkarinkelly #karinkelly

Beautiful Moments

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day, beautiful souls of our universe. Hopefully, the ether has been blessing you abundantly. Today I am writing about the beautiful moments of the war, yes there are moments but people are not aware as the soldiers never really talk about it.

This is a true story of a young soldier at the ripe age of eighteen in Angola in nineteen seventy-eight. His unit would patrol a different area every week by foot.

They came upon a village and they planned on being there for three days. They camped next to the river near the village and this is where our soldier was approached by a little lad of four years old-short pants, a scruffy shirt and no shoes.

As the dialect was not the same they battled to communicate but eventually, the soldier convinced the little one to fill his three canteens of water by the river.

On the lad’s return with the heavy canteens which he had been dragging behind himself to the soldier, the soldier, in turn, rewarded him. The soldier gave him one sweet and peanut bar from his rat pack. You must realise the soldier only had a bit of ration so what he gave the little lad was a lot of his own ration.

As the day went by the little lad had not gone back to the village yet and the sun was already setting. His mother eventually came looking for him and the little lad did not want to leave. The soldier asked the local person that understood the uvambo language, why the little one did not want to leave?

The person relayed back to the soldier that the mother had said he had never had any sugar or sweets since the little one’s birth. He came back every day for sweeties but unfortunately, the soldiers left a few days later and the little one cried while waving goodbye.

On his travels, he met a little girl aged eight in a POW camp while he was waiting to fly out of Angola. He befriended her from the other side of the fence as he could not get into the camp. She could not speak English. She understood when he gave her some of his condensed milk called a pikkie and a vitamin c sweet that he was not an enemy but a friend.

After a few days, he had to leave. On the day of departure, she handed him a piece of paper with Portuguese wording which he could not understand. He could only have it translated when he got back to his initial base camp. The note said, `I do not know who you are, but I love you.’

The experience of meeting the little lad and sharing the rations with him made him feel happy that he made a difference in the little lad’s life for just a moment, but the memory will last a lifetime for the little one. The little girl in the camp brought out his brotherly feelings as he had a little sister at home.

He felt that he hopefully made the moments they shared memorable so that she did not think that all soldiers were bad.

Be blessed and always make memories with little humans that will stay with them. Those two little people will tell their children about the soldier that brightened their dark moments with a sweetie.

Plato…

Written by Ada Den Hollander

I must have been about 15 or 16 years old when I read Plato at school. Plato, the Greek philosopher who lived from 427 -347 BC and is still regularly quoted to this day. I actually wonder now what I understood about his philosophies at that young age, but at the time I was not at all bothered. I found it interesting, we discussed what we read in class and I thought I understood everything very well. Plato’s most famous writing is, of course, the allegory of the cave in his work Politea (State). I am going to write that allegory here in my own words but clearly based on Plato. With a conclusion of course, otherwise I could have sufficed with a reference to Wikipedia.

Six people sit in a cave, all with their arms, legs and necks chained to the wall. As a result, they can only look one way, straight ahead. They have never been outside the cave. A fire burns at the narrow opening, leaving only a faint glow from the sun. People or animals passing by outside the cave or things carried alongside the cave are projected onto the wall by the fire, causing all the prisoners to see only shadows. It may look like this:

For the prisoners, the shadows are the reality, they don’t know any better, they’ve never seen anything else, and no one has the urge to ask questions. One day one of them escapes. Once outside, he doesn’t know what he sees as soon as his eyes have adjusted to the harsh sunlight. What beautiful, colourful pastures. And then those animals. He is totally overwhelmed by so much beauty. People look at him strangely, but kindly greet and smile at him.

As excited as he is about his discovery of a completely different world outside the cave, he decides to go back to the cave and tell the prisoners about his experience. After his eyes have adjusted to the darkness, he starts telling his story. The prisoners start laughing out loud. They’ve never heard such nonsense. Colour? Beauty? A bright sun? Are you crazy? Ridiculous. The reality is here and nowhere else. Get lost.

There is nothing for the escaped person to do but to leave and begin his adventure outside the cave, called life.

The meaning of this allegory may be clear and seems to apply extremely well to the chaotic situation in which the world finds itself today. Government leaders try to keep us in our cave, putting fear into us, new knowledge is not heard by the governments and is dismissed by the people in the cave.

Fortunately, more and more people are starting to wake up, protesting against the inhumanity and undesirability of the measures. Now the political leaders only have to admit that new insights have taught them that mistakes have been made. How difficult can that be? We all make mistakes and we learn from that. Don’t we? Why not them then? Are egos too big? Or maybe they should take a look at the extremely rich people getting richer every day. Follow the money and see where you end up. No surprise for me there.

I would suggest listening to people on YouTube for instance who dare to ask questions, who organise protests and share their medical knowledge.

What can go wrong with that? You can always go back to your cave.

(edited by Julia Thomas)

Body, Soul and Mind

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day beautiful beings, as usual, I hope to find you well and blessed with abundance. Today I am writing about the human being as a whole and what we do to keep it healthy.

Nutrition is vital for body health so it is our choice how we take care of it.

Body health creates the human we are and what we become. Eating junk food and consuming alcohol and drugs is by no means good for the body. It does not make a human better than another by our abuse of our bodies compared to someone that has healthy habits, it just gives the healthy person better opportunities because of their moral values toward themselves and how they treat their bodies.

As children, our parents feed us to the best of their ability but as we get to an age where we take responsibility for our lives, it is hoped for the good of our health.

When the body is healthy we feed the mind healthily.

The mind’s health depends on the lifestyle we lead and the moral choices we make. If we lead a good life and live honestly and are as good a human as we can be, our minds will be stimulated and fed intellectually.

A healthy mind then leads us to make proper choices and helps us grow as good humans.

I am not saying by making bad choices we are not good humans. Sometimes our mind is psychologically sick which leads us to make bad decisions and at these times we are weak and lost in a place where only we can leave if we choose to be that. Substance abuse damages the mind and makes us think illogically.

The mind should be stimulated from the day a human is born. It is the responsibility of the guardians of the little human to create a good human from baby till when the person is able to think for themselves.

The mind needs visual stimulation to create a distraction from the mundane. People play games, go gambling and watch television and movies. We read and do crafts to broaden our minds.

Unfortunately, the mind absorbs the negative things in the visual things we see, so we should be logical enough to distinguish reality from fiction. Unfortunately, some people live in fairyland so as not to face the lives they are living.

The soul enjoys quietness, sunsets, sunrises and running water. The soul seeks tranquillity.

To feed the soul people go fishing, meditate and take time out from everyday life. A person’s spirituality can add value to the soul’s health. Smelling incense, a fragrant candle and smelling the sweet smells of nature can be tranquil and also having a safe space in your house can also create soul health.

A healthy body and mind can be achieved if the soul is rested and tranquil.

So our bodies work in unison with each part and function. It is like a machine, if one part is broken the other parts cannot function properly.

Nothing is perfect but if you look at Buddha, Allah or any spiritual people you will realise that they found nirvana and that created soul health.

So follow your body signs and be your own mechanic, only you can fix yourself.

Be blessed and safe till we meet again.

Practical magic – 101

WILLOW, Warwick Davis, Billy Barty, 1988, (c) MGM/courtesy Everett Collection

Written by Vanessa Anderson

In a world that teeters closer and closer towards obsession over technological marvel, until one day you look back and realise that EVERYTHING has over time been replaced – become artificial, from the conversations we have to the food we eat.

I have written often about returning to self, remembering, and collecting ourselves back towards ourselves. Sometimes we all need a little practical magic to help us get there.

I am going to start with an anecdote from one of my favourite movies, Willow. If you participated in the Holistic Fayre’s birthday competitions you may have read this snippet from me already.

In the movie, the protagonist Willow Ufgood, a Nelwyn with magical talents presents himself as a would-be apprentice to the town Magician, Aldwin – at the Planing festival. He and two others are asked to identify which finger holds the power to control the world. Willow wanted to point to his own finger, but he didn’t trust his intuition.

Anyone who has watched the movie will know, for those who have not yet, spoiler alert – his own finger was the correct response, he held the power.

We hold the power!
You have the power!

The world we live in will have us forget that, because people who believe in themselves are harder to hoodwink with sparkling baubles, bright lights and fakery. True magic does not deceive, that is performance for it implies a performer and an audience.

True magic is within us all, no performance, no act – we have simply forgotten. In the rushed existence of our lives, filled with work, money, entertainment, fulfilment, expectations, judgements, distractions and challenges – there is little time.

It is time, it is now when we must recall. We speak of technology as an advancement, but those before us had knowledge, knowledge we have unknowingly let go, little bit by little bit. Its loss felt only now – when we have started to realise what we have given up in an attempt to get our time back.

Artificial intelligence is sold as the opportunity to free up our time, work smarter, not harder – but in a world of information we have become less, truth and knowledge diluted – we spend our free time being entertained by…. Artificial intelligence. We have given our power for a freedom in bondage.

Higher petrol prices, failing energy grids, job losses, global pandemics. The world is in desperate need of a little magic. In fact, it needs a lot – and it starts with each of us.

I am not going to claim that these are all steps in a programme to reclaim that magic. I am going to help you remember that magic is in the details, it is in the little things we do, every day and that every day, in every way that you are mindful in your intent you practice your magic.

It begins with you: Hair is magic – every cell in its make-up is you, when you cut your hair, you release energy. Like the rings in a tree trunk, those cells tell a story of what we have experienced. The sudden desire to cut ones hair is often a reflection of the need to change. We feel different when we give attention to certain parts of ourselves.

Our hair, connected to our crown chakra is an important link to who we are. In many cultures, the way that hair is worn – or treated is an embodiment of spiritual nature of that culture. Women braiding each other’s hair is not only a grooming practice, but a kinship ritual and possibly why we feel so oddly free to share things with our hairdresser we would normally keep to ourselves.

In our rushed world, we hasten through this grooming ritual, without the ritual. Intend to honour yourself more. Intent is magic. It is the energy we invest in everything we do. Ironically metered to ourselves and yet given so freely to other matters. Reclaim that magic, in small ways, every day, start with hair, brush it, braid it, love it.

I make a joke of the fact that most of what I knit or crochet ends up having a strand of hair woven into it, unintentionally of course, but unknowingly, everything I make has a part of me, part of my magic, woven in.

Practically, magic is everywhere, we just have to allow it in and if you will allow me, I would like to author some more practical magic tips in the coming months.

Remember, you are magic.

Spirit Has an Answer

Written by Elsabe Smit

Recently an old friend died – not that he was so old. He went before retirement age, and we have not had contact for over four decades. But he was a friend. Until religion interfered.

His passing scratched open wounds from my teenage years that I thought I had made peace with.

This man was a lovely, intelligent boy with a good nature and a kind heart. He was also from a different religion – and a different language and culture. He was keen on me, and the feeling was mutual. We were teenagers, exploring relationships and being adults.

When I realised that this was more than a passing interest, I was happy and concerned – so concerned that I went to see the minister. I had many questions about the ethical and moral rights and wrongs of having a relationship with someone from a different religious group. I am not talking about anything extreme. He was a Methodist, and I was in the Dutch Reformed Church, which made us both Protestants. The point was that he was not a member of the Dutch Reformed Church.

Today this sounds like a laughable exaggeration, but at the time my world was wobbly because of the magnitude of the decision I had to make about the relationship. The easy way out was to stop seeing him, which is what I did. I knew I had hurt him, and I was hurt, but the blinkers were solidly in place.

Now, four decades later, I know how incredibly childish and immature that decision was, and how different my life would have been if I bit the bullet and broke away from that restrictive cult. In my defence, I was a teenager who grew up in a God-fearing home and I only discovered in years that God is in fact a God of love.

During that same period, when I was already a young adult, my best friend got married. I did not attend her wedding. Why on earth not? Because she was a member of the Apostolic Faith Mission – where people actually enjoy going to church, and they show it with music and singing and praising God. My fear and indoctrination were such that I could not even see my way open to attend her wedding. That was cruel, but at the time it was the only option that I could see.

The friendship remained strong, and she actually attended my wedding.

That memory represented another big loss to me, and to this day I can remember being at home on that day, wishing with all my heart that I could share my friend’s big day and her joy, but at the same time knowing that the ostracism following the decision to attend would have been unbearable.

Little did I know that about a decade later, I would experience that same ostracism at full blast anyway when I got divorced.

Over the years I had more experiences that confirmed for me how vicious religious people can be. I worked in Ireland, a country still in the grip of a smothering Catholic Church, and saw the worst side of religious judgment – where a mass grave of babies and orphans was discovered at a convent, and where children, in general, were not safe from any men or the cloth. I lived in England, where it is totally acceptable to remain married and have several relationships after leaving the marital home, because of the social and religious judgment of the Church of England if you actually go through with a divorce. I am not sitting in moral judgment. Spirituality has taught me the importance of finishing unfinished business, and the church does not allow that.

Does this mean everything about religious is bad? On the contrary. If you read the holy scriptures of many religious, you will find the gems and the beauty in each one of them. And of course, there are many good people for whom religion and their religious practices form a resting place for their feet.

For me spirituality is my home and my comfort. There is nothing that cannot be resolved by Spirit, and there is no greater solace than what I get form communing with Spirit.

I was a qualified psychologist for many years and gave up that title because I encountered situations where no amount of psychological training could help me.

As a psychologist and a Christian, I was never taught in which box to put the person who came to me, desperate for help halfway during a sex change and feeling suicidal. Spirit had an answer.

As a psychologist and a Christian, I was never taught what is the best way to council a prisoner who called me from death row in the US two days before his execution, for a psychic reading. Spirit had an answer.

I have since been through experiences in my own life that got me close to breaking point, and I was able to learn and see patterns and get explanations that do not appear in any religious scripture or academic textbook. I now help people who go through similar experiences.

Spirit had an answer.

Being Olivia

Written by Olivia Britz

In my recent state of singledom (if there is such a word) I am coming to find out some things about myself that either I did not know…or are brand new…or I had long forgotten. I find my love of love stories and take time to read every day. I find that I am able to find some peace in spending time on my own in my little tree top apartment as I call it.

Divorce does not frighten me nor does it anger me and the bitterness I carried for so many years has evaporated. It almost feels surreal.

My thoughts about my life and experiences have compassion for myself and indeed for my ex-husband. A compassion for what we both went through as a couple raising four children mostly on our own and helping out with parents and extended family. We had a lot of responsibilities and not enough time to nurture our own love.

In my freedom came the ability to see and as I lie in bed (unusual for me for a Friday afternoon at 3:30pm) I am delighted to say that I feel great.

I wish to share my new found knowledge with others in despair because I never believed I would be here one day. Content. Able to be still.

I am being Olivia and being my authentic self is all that matters.

Selfish Humans

Written by Deborah Jordaan

Good day loyal readers I hope you are well and mother nature rains abundance upon you. This week I am writing about the selfish patient. As you all know I am a Carer and I take care of my partner. My partner is happiest when his needs are met but when I need to get to the little life I have he has opinions sometimes.

I am sympathetic and empathic to his needs but when I voice my needs and wants he has a few golden words of wisdom.

Some days I bite my tongue and just compose myself but then I get those moments where I think why am I doing this? I know I chose this life but I think how much more can I take?

Alone time to oneself is so important but us as Carers never get there, as we run the household work elsewhere and must still make time for children and grandchildren. I have decided a while back to go see a psychologist as when my mental state takes strain I have a place to go that sees to only my needs and it is a safe place where I can wind down and let go of my feelings.

My partner has children and extended family but as todays children are; they don`t come visit or offer to help but they also have so many suggestions. They never ask me how am I? Could they spend a day with him and give me some time to get to whatever I would like to do.

I know some people would say I can be lucky to have a partner as their loved ones have passed on and they are alone. I do practice gratefulness but there are times when I must also be selfish and find time to breathe and just be me.

I used to be a people pleaser but the mental mind tends to bring you back down to earth and slow you down and make you aware that you need self – care. I am always taking care of people but they have this notion that I magically have all the time in the world and will jump for them.

That is the selfish patient. Taking care of people is not about the money as the money you get paid can`t buy time off.

Men in general are very sensitive when they are sick, to me it is in their nature. Ladies whether sick or not just keep on going as we cannot cancel our life and say when we better we will get back to it.

I have my health issues and when I talk about them I get told that I am always sick. This coming from my partner who keeps me awake at night, no sleep for me. It is like having a baby all over except that this baby is not going to grow up and move out of the house.

So to the people men or women that are devoting their lives to those kind of people with partial selfishness, you will be losing yourself along your way and when you find yourself ill and need attention no one will be there for you.

Be blessed and take care of your mental mind.